Trying Times

I just recently read a blog by a mom who chronicles her daily tribulations on being a mother, http://momastery.com/blog/, and how she finds writing about these things to be therapeutic.  Well I will try anything so here goes!

I was really hoping the 6th year of Katie's life would bring an end to the childish (not the right word but cant think of anything better at the moment) behavior that started when she turned 3.  Our Katie has a lot of emotions and struggles to express them, so she gets her point across in a variety of unpleasant forms.  Screaming, crying, hitting, sulking  just to name a few.  Now this started slowly not long after her 3rd birthday (we completely skipped the terrible two's) and has been a slow ramp up over the past few years to the point that I feel I need to write about it to provide me some comfort.

We could not love her anymore than we do and she is such a special, sweet girl I just hope she can learn soon how to express herself in a more rational matter.  I think her problem is that her head is so full of wonderful ideas to share, opinions to get across & stories to tell they all get jumbled up and when it actually comes time to focus on something that is not in her mind there is just not room for her to process it.  Then comes the scene... they used to just be saved for the privacy of our own home which was comforting.  I used to chant to myself, let's just get out of the house and all will be OK.  Not sure if it was the soothing car ride that calmed her or just the distractions of things outside our home, but in public she was perfect.  Sadly this has changed making little outings a stressful time.  We have always cherished our Sunday evening family dinners out of the house, but now they have become something we just try to get through so we can get back home.

Knowing in our hearts that she was not ready for big school kindergarten we chose to put her in a small private school where as it turns out she is one of 5 students this year.  It has been such a blessing as she is doing very well accademically and loves her class.  

Earlier this year Katie's Kindergarten teacher had expressed concerns about her ability to focus on class room tasks.  She was not completing work timely (or at all) and was continuously needing extra instruction to understand tasks.  After a nice meeting with her teacher who expressed these concerns but also reiterated how incredibly capable and bright she was, we sought the advice of our pediatrician. After a series of interviews with their in house specialist, Katie was diagnosed having ADD.  As this is an affliction that affects many in my family (and quite honestly myself as well although mine has been more adult onset) we were not overly surprised and started the task of educating ourselves as much as possible.  

Well then now real dilemma begins.  What do we do with this new knowledge?  Where does ADD begin/end and how does it relate to her emotional outbursts?  To help us better understand these questions we have sought a second opinion from a Child Psychologist who specializes in kids with ADD.  We are hoping after a series of meeting with Katie she will help us develop a treatment plan so we can all just enjoy this time in our lives and not have to walk on egg shells and wonder when the next flare up will be.

I have definitely tried to change my approach to these tough situations which is not always easy.  My first instinct is to scream & shout which I know does not do anyone (especially myself) any good.  But this is a hard habit to break.  We would like to get to a point again where we can reward good behavior, but I think we need to have a little more consistent good behavior before this will work.  So for now I am trying to take a very calm approach to the situations, remove her from the scene and once she has calmed down do my best to talk rationally.  This very morning I implemented a strategy that I am excited about and I hope it sticks.  I showed Katie how to hold her hands by locking her fingers together.  We practiced counting to 3, 5 & 10 for those times when she feels she might hit someone or shout at someone.  She was excited to try and started telling me other ways in which she could use this technique.

We have also tried to make some positive changes in her diet.  I have read that too much sugar & possibly gluten can affect behavior, while she has never had a sugary diet, I have cut back even further and have brought many gluten free products into her diet as well.

 

Here is hoping we get some good guidance from our various Dr's and we can help Katie better express herself, and once she can watch out b/c this girl has a lot to say and it's going to be GREAT!